We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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