**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
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