just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
Randomize
