ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
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