i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
Randomize
