My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
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