The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
Randomize
