just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Randomize
