ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
