honey bunches of taint.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
Randomize