Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
Randomize
