Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
Randomize
