I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
