Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
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