shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
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