I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
Two words: blizzard sex
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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