That's intense
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
Randomize
