the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
Randomize
