Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
At least life still wants to fuck me.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
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