I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
