Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
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