some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
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