bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
