I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
Randomize
