some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
Randomize
