I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
Hey man sorry I got all grabby
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Randomize
