I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
Drake has all the answers
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
Randomize
