This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
last night I used snow as a chaser
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
Randomize
