Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
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