either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
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