Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
Randomize
