i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
I take back everything I said about communal showers
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Randomize