we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
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