make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
Life is so much better after having sex.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
Randomize