he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
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