Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
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