Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Randomize
