And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
Randomize
