Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
there is puke in my bra ... again
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
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