Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Randomize
