wakey wakey hands off snakey
Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
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