you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
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