things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
Do vagina's smell?
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
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