Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
okay pat passed out under dana's car
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Randomize
