So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
