I don't usually arrange sex via text message
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
