No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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