Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
I enjoy the company of your penis
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Randomize
