could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
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