Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
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