I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Randomize
