So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
I feel like a drive thru vagina
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize
