I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
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