He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
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