Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
Randomize
