I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
Randomize
