I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
Randomize
