Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
Randomize
