no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
Randomize
