when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
